


permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever)

by theresonatinglight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birth Control Implied, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Loss of Virginity, Love/Hate, Mutual Pining, No Pregnancy, Porn with Feelings, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29239659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/pseuds/theresonatinglight
Summary: As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo willneverlove her.A modern soulmates AU for the 2021 RFFA "To Find Your Kiss" Valentine's Day fic exchange.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 139
Collections: To Find Your Kiss: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thursdaygirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdaygirl/gifts).



> Happy Valentine’s Day! I wrote this sweet little oneshot for Thursdaygirl for the RFFA “To Find Your Kiss” Valentine’s Day fic exchange, and I’m so excited to share it with you all. <3
> 
> A note: I've had to work on more than my fair share of projects with preppy tech dudebros (the exact type Rey assumes Ben is), so this fic is also dedicated to all the other lady engineers who have had to share that experience with me.
> 
> Another note: Birth control is implied in this fic. Rey is on birth control pills. It is also implied that both characters are virgins, as they are still quite young (21 and 23) and hope to wait for their soulmates. Please understand that I did not intend for this to be used as sex education, nor did I intend for it to be an accurate account of a sexual encounter!

__

_\--_

_tell me why you do the things that make me hate you_

_it's an emotional kaleidoscope when i face you_

_permanent calligraphy, i just tattooed_

_your name on me forever_

forget me too, machine gun kelly feat. halsey

\--

Rey Niima hates him. He can tell from the start, from the awkward, flushed silence as they freeze mid-handshake, neither of them able to tear their gaze away from the marks on their wrists, and from her clenched jaw and angry huff as she settles down next to him. Or maybe it’s the way she crosses her arms and brusquely informs him that she plans to write their report on the social cost of electronic waste on her own – he can contribute if he feels so inclined.

Ben doesn’t know how to break it to her that he’s actually a sociology minor and has some ideas of his _own_ about their project, so he just shrugs awkwardly and suggests they divide up the responsibilities and set some dates to meet up in the library.

He knows better than to bring up their soulmarks. It’s taboo. It’s… improper. Maybe there was a time when meeting your soulmate marked the start of something, but that time has long passed. Nowadays, most people recognize that soulmarks aren’t infallible; that soulmates can hurt and be hurt by each other; that everyone should be able to decide for themselves if they want to trust Fate with their future. But still, he’d hoped…

\--

Rey’s not sure who she’d expected her soulmate would be, but she certainly didn’t expect them to be _Ben Solo_. Broody asshole Ben Solo. So-rich-he’ll-never-have-to-work-a-day-in-his-life Ben Solo. Looks-down-his-rather-large-nose-at-peasants-like-her Ben Solo.

She may be a new transfer to Coruscant Tech, but she’s been around her fellow engineering majors long enough to smell a preppy dudebro from a mile away, and _Ben Solo_ is the textbook case. Mech-E department polo? Check. Lacrosse team backpack? Check. Shiny hair that looks simultaneously effortless and like it takes $200 worth of product to maintain? Check. _Yep,_ she thinks bitterly, _my soulmate is an entitled asshole._ She’s worked with so many guys just like him; she’s sure he won’t want anything to do with her _or_ their project. He’s probably just taking the class to fulfill his humanities credits for graduation, after all. It’s best to just get most of the work over with and not inconvenience him. Quick and painless – after it’s over, he can pretend he never met her. A guy like him? He’d never even consider falling for a girl like her.

\--

Ben’s soulmate is, in a word, insufferable. As if her aloof attitude wasn’t bad enough, she comes to their third weekly joint research session in a row with not just her part done, but also his. What’s the point of setting times to meet up if all they do is awkwardly read over the notes she’s already taken?

Ben runs a frustrated hand through his hair. There’s only one possible reason. Rey clearly doesn’t trust him to do his work. He assumes it’s so she can minimize her time around him. Well, fine, if that’s what she wants.

He pointedly pulls a binder out of his bag and drops it on the table. It makes a satisfyingly loud noise as it lands. She turns her head to look at the binder, then at him, her brow scrunched in confusion. _If only she weren’t so fucking adorable._ He tries not to get too irritated at her – he wouldn’t want himself as a soulmate, either.

Ben sighs and gestures to the binder with less irritation than a moment ago. “I did some research, too. I like printing sources to annotate them. Feel free to take a look. You know, if you want to actually work _together_ on this.”

The words don’t convey as much heat and indignation as he originally anticipated – they fall out of his mouth kind of awkwardly instead. But by the flushed, abashed look on Rey’s face, they hit their mark.

“Ben, I… Yeah, of course I’ll take a look. Sorry, I assumed...” Rey says, moving to flip through his binder.

They sit in silence, side by side, as they read through each other’s notes. After three weeks, he’s finally been able to prove he actually _does_ care about their project. That’s progress, right? Her research really is very good. She’s smart, determined, passionate – he can tell how much her work matters to her, and he admires that. At this point, he knows she’ll never love him. He’s okay with that, he just wishes the Fates had given her a better soulmate – one who could deserve her; one who she could love.

\--

Rey can’t seem to get him out of her head. Ever since the day they met, she sees him in every crowd, every dream. Even in her fantasies. The once-faceless man she envisions as she lays in bed, surrounded by only the sounds of her own soft breathing and the low hum of her vibrator, morphs every night into a tall figure with long hair and soul-searching eyes. She tries to banish the vision from her mind, think of anything – anyone else. It doesn’t work. _It never works._ So she finds her release to the thought of him, his name a silent whisper on her lips.

She supposes this is her fate – to think of him always, yearn for him always. She starts to wonder if there’s some truth to the old tales of an invisible thread that ties soulmates to each other, even when they’re kept apart.

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will _never_ love her. If she had any chance with him, it evaporated the second she decided to act so superior. She should never have judged him so quickly. It’s far too late to start over on the right foot; he must hate her by now.

So she continues on, quietly looking forward to their meetings and dreading their final week. He’s graduating this semester and, try as she might, she can’t stop time. So on their last day, she drags her feet. She insists they go through their report with a fine-toothed comb and add one last section. She sneaks glances at him, wondering if he’ll say anything. He doesn’t. _So this is how it ends,_ she thinks. _We’re over before we even started._ And so when the library closes, she packs her backpack and opens her mouth, knowing it’s finally time to say goodbye.

“Rey--” his deep voice cuts through her thoughts. “Want to head back to my place to get this finished up and submitted?”

She looks up at him in surprise, the corner of her mouth quirking into a half smile. “Yeah, sure,” she says, the smallest seed of hope taking root in her heart. “That works for me.”

\--

He’s not sure why he says it. He’d been planning to say goodbye and get out of her hair, but he supposes he’s just so good at self-sabotaging that it’s become second nature to him. _Idiot,_ he admonishes himself. _Why the hell would she want to go back to your dorm?_ But then, she says _yes_.

_Oh._

So he leads her to his dorm and she makes small talk on the way. _That’s new. What if she feels this, too?_ He squashes the thought almost as quickly as it rises in his consciousness. No, he can’t think like that; he knows better than to hope. Dwelling on that improbability would only make it harder to say goodbye.

But still, the conversation is a nice development.

When they get to his room, they fall quiet. Rey settles on his bed with her laptop, his pillow propped up behind her back, and he tries not to think of all the times he’s imagined her in that very spot. And then they work.

\--

Rey types her last sentence and turns her gaze to the desk where Ben sits. He’s already finished and looking at her with a pensive expression on his face. “Ready?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

Rey flashes him a grin. “Yep. I’ll do it now.” After a few seconds, “Done!”

She has to admit, it’s nothing if not cathartic. A whole semester’s work, finally complete. Her time spent with her soulmate, over too soon. They had their hiccups in the beginning, but they ended up being a pretty good pair. She only wishes she had more time with him. She tells her heart to stop aching and to look on the bright side: some people go their whole life without meeting their soulmate. She not only met hers, she spent all semester working closely with him, memorizing him in between the lines of their report. That can be enough for her – it _has_ to be enough for her.

She tucks her laptop back into her bag. It’s time.

“Thanks for having me over, Ben. I’ve really enjoyed working with you this semester,” she says, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

Ben grins back, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You too. I, um…” His smile fades and he glances quickly at his wrist, where she knows her name is imprinted. “Listen, I know I’m not much to you. But just for the record, I wanted you to know I believe in them. Soulmates, I mean. Maybe it’s cheesy, but I do. And I’m glad you’re mine-- I mean, I’m glad you’re my _soulmate._ ”

She watches, hardly daring to breathe, as he swallows nervously.

“Rey, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I just didn’t want to say goodbye without telling you.”

“You really mean it?” she asks, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah, of course. I really like you, Rey. How could I not?” Then, quieter, “You’re everything I dreamed of, you know.” He lets out a shaky huff, as if he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

There’s a warmth that blooms in her chest that she can’t suppress. She never thought… She never thought he would feel the same as her. “I really like you too,” she says, dimples forming on her cheeks. “I was so sure you hated me this whole time.”

“No, of course not.” Ben insists, “I could never hate you, not even in the beginning, before we got along.”

She reaches for his hand and runs her thumb over his soulmark. He shifts to sit in front of her on his bed, reaching with his other hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. And then she kisses him, bridging the small gap between them. She can feel him smile into the kiss as his hand moves to cradle the nape of her neck.

She loses track of time as she focuses on his lips on hers and his right hand in hers. They lean back, her laying against him as they explore each other’s mouths for the first time. She’s not sure when, but at some point, she lets go of his hand to let hers glide under his shirt, pushing it up until her hands settle against his bare chest. He returns the favor, his right hand slipping up to rest on her back. She moans softly against him, pressing her body down against the hardness that’s grown prominent between his legs. And then she breaks the kiss, pausing to help remove their clothes. They’re a mess of fumbling, frantic hands, and they both burst out in laughter when Ben’s hair somehow gets tangled in the clasp of Rey’s bra, nestled between her breasts.

“Okay, this is coming off,” Ben grumbles as he attempts to extract his hair from the clasp.

Once they’re finally stripped down, Rey rakes her eyes across her soulmate’s body, admiring his toned muscles wrought by long lacrosse practices and the constellations that map their way across his skin. She kisses her way along those constellations as he runs his hands through her hair. When her journey across her body comes to an end, he cups her head in his hands and looks into her eyes, his question clear before he even verbalizes it.

“Ben, please,” she says breathily. “I want this with you.”

Ben nods and lowers his lips again against hers as he explores her, a thumb gently circling her nipple a few times before his hand dips between her legs. She inhales sharply against him as his fingers stroke over her, coaxing her open and preparing her for what’s to come. She wants to remember this feeling forever: his thumb finding that bundle of nerves and rubbing lightly as he slowly stretches her open with one finger, then two. His fingers are so much bigger and longer than hers, reaching places that she’s only ever been able to touch with her toys.

“Ben,” she gasps. “I’m so _close_. Just a little more.”

She whines as he withdraws his hand and moves to stroke himself. “Ben, _please_.”

He plants a kiss on her forehead before looking into her eyes. “You sure, sweetheart? We can stop if you’re not ready. We can stop whenever.”

“I’m sure, Ben. I want this. I want _you_ ,” she says before pulling him down for another kiss.

“Okay,” he whispers against her lips. “I really do want to love you for the rest of our lives, I hope you know that.”

Rey moans in response as he positions himself between her lower lips and pushes slowly but steadily in. She stretches around him, her walls pressing against him as they adjust to the new sensation. He’s bigger than any of her toys, but she’s well prepared enough for him to slide in without much resistance.

“Good girl,” he murmurs as he sheathes himself completely. “I’ve got you, babe. Let me know when you want me to move.”

She whimpers and wraps her legs around his waist. “Now,” she says, “please move.”

And so he does, shallowly to begin with and gradually pulling further and further out of her, only to fill her to the brim again with each push. He massages her breast as he kisses his way down the column of her neck, eliciting soft moans. As she approaches her release once more, she slips her hand between them, rubbing small circles around her clit as his thrusts become more and more erratic. They find their release together, her walls pulsing around him as he pumps into her heat. He kisses her tenderly, and his hand finds its way back between them, letting her ride out the aftershocks of her orgasm before rolling them onto their sides.

He holds Rey close to his chest, dropping kisses onto her face and hair as they come down from their high.

“Ben?” she asks, voice slightly muffled by his skin. “I’m glad we found each other.”

He responds by capturing her lips in a kiss. “Me too, sweetheart.”

“I um… I have to go back to my dorm before my 2pm class to finish up some homework,” she whispers, sitting up. “I don’t want to go, but…”

Ben glances at the clock on his shelf, considering their options. “Can you stay the night? I’ll walk you home in the morning.”

A smile spreads across Rey’s face. “Yes, I’d love that,” she murmurs as she settles back into his arms.

\--

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading - I hope you enjoyed it!! If you did, please feel free to leave kudos & comments and check out [my other works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/works)!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter here: [@ellex66](https://twitter.com/ellex66)


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